tell your sister to shave her snatch
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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