Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
