belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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