Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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