Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize