Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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