ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
