nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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