I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
