The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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