Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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