my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
