just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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