Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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