porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
