"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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