He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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