Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Randomize
