Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
