I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
