Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My bed is full of blood and feathers
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize