I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
