no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
