You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
