she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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