i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
