Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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