youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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