i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
