even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
