he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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