Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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