Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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