so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
