Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
