Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize