What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
