You're my little dorito
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
