So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
