on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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