u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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