Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
