i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
