Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
