Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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