kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
