hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
