I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
