not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
