Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
