HIV tests are more positive than that guy
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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