Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
