nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
