The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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