Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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