She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
