I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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