Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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