You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
