He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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