I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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