I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
