Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
