It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
