i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
